|Fashionista| - Tonto Dikeh Dazzles In Native, Traditional Attire – Make Up By Joyce Jacob Beauty.

Tonto Dikeh Dazzles In Native, Traditional Wear – Make Up By Joyce Jacob Beauty

This is the latest photo shoot by Nollywood actress Tonto Dikeh.

Her makeup was done by make-up artist Joyce Jacob, the founder of Joyce Jacob Beauty.

If you love this makeup, you can contact her via her Twitter page.

She is a reknown celeb make-up artist.

This is a very beautiful make up. It’s natural and simple…No loud colour combination.

[Photo Credit: Joyce Jacob]

|Love, Sex & Relationship| - Advice for Building Relationships that are Healthy, Happy and sametime Satisfying... #A Must Read!

 |Relationship Help|

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Coming soon:

»Love, Sex & Relationships«  (crucial talk) with Fortune Chinda & Friends.. will be made available shortly. 

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Advice for Building Relationships that are Healthy, Happy and Satisfying:

A strong, healthy relationship can be one of the best supports in your life. Good relationships improve all aspects of your life, strengthening your health, your mind, and your connections with others. However, if the relationship isn’t working, it can also be a tremendous drain. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you can get back.

These few tips can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or repair trust and love in a relationship on the rocks.

•Strengthening Your Love:

Everyone’s relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. But there are some things that good relationships have in common. Knowing the basic principles of healthy relationships helps keep them meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting in both happy times and sad:

What makes a healthy love relationship?

Staying involved with each other. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there.

Getting through conflict. The key in a strong relationship is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

Keeping outside relationships and interests alive. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too.

Communicating. Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Nonverbal cues—body language like eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm—are critical to communication.

•Never Stop Communicating:

Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out disconnect. As long as you are communicating, you can work through whatever problem you’re facing.

Learn your partner’s emotional cues

Each of us is a little different in how we best receive information. Some people might respond better to sight, sound, or touch. Your partner’s responses may be different from yours. Take some time to learn your partner’s cues, and be sure to communicate your own as well. For example, one person might find a brief massage after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to talk over a hot cup of tea.

So much of our communication is transmitted by what we don’t say. Nonverbal cues—such as eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm—communicate much more than words. For a relationship to work well, each person has to be receptive to sending and receiving nonverbal cues. Learning to understand this “body language” can help you better understand what your partner is trying to say. Think about what you are transmitting as well, and if what you say matches what you feel. If you say “I’m fine,” but you clench your teeth and look away, then your body is clearly signaling you are not.

Question your assumptions

If you’ve known each other for a while, you may assume that your partner has a pretty good idea of what you are thinking and what you need. However, your partner is not a mind reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to directly express your needs to avoid any confusion. Your partner may sense something, but it might not be what you need. What’s more, people change, and what you needed and wanted five years ago, for example, may be very different now. Getting in the habit of expressing your needs helps you weather difficult times, which otherwise may lead to increasing resentment, misunderstanding, and anger.

Use your senses to keep stress in check

If you’re not calm and focused, you won’t be able to communicate effectively. The best way to reduce stress quickly and reliably is through the senses. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.

•Spend Quality Time Together:

As time goes by, children, demanding jobs, long commutes, different hobbies and other obligations can make it hard to find time together with your loved one. It’s critical for your relationship, though, to make time for yourselves. If you don’t have quality time, communication and understanding start to erode.

Simple ways to connect as a couple and rekindle love

Commit to spending quality time together on a regular basis. Even during very busy and stressful times, a few minutes of really sharing and connecting can help keep bonds strong.

Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.

Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before.

Couples are often more fun and playful in the early stages of a relationship. However, this playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as life challenges or old resentments start getting in the way. Keeping a sense of humor can actually help you get through tough times, reduce stress, and work through issues more easily.

Focus on having fun together

Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers or a favorite movie home unexpectedly.

Learn from the “play experts” together. Playing with pets or small children can really help you reconnect with your playful side. If it’s something you do together, you also learn more about your partner and how he or she likes to have fun.

Make a habit of laughing together whenever you can. Most situations are not as bleak as they appear to be when you approach them with humor.

Learning how to play again

A little humor and playful interaction can go a long way in relieving tense situations and helping you see the brighter side. If you’re feeling a little rusty, learn more about how playful communication can improve your relationship, and for fun ways to practice this skill.

•Expect Ups and Downs:

It’s also important to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship. You won’t always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member. Other events, like job loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. You might have different ideas of managing finances or raising children. Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstanding can rapidly turn to frustration and anger.

Relationship advice for getting through life’s ups and downs

Don’t take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress, it might seem easier to snap at your partner. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. Find other ways to vent your anger and frustration.

Some problems are bigger than both of you. Trying to force a solution can cause even more problems. Every person works through problems and issues in his or her own way. Remember that you’re a team. Continuing to move forward together can get you through the rough spots.

Be open to change. Change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship, and it allows you to grow together through both the good times and the bad.

Don’t ignore problems. Whatever problems arise in a romantic relationship, it’s important to face them together as a couple. If an aspect of the relationship stops working, don’t simply ignore it, but instead address it with your partner. Things change, so respond to them together as they do.

Romantic relationships require ongoing attention

Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome. Once the problems have been resolved they often switch their attention back to their careers, kids, or other interests. However, romantic relationships require ongoing attention and commitment for love to flourish. As long as the health of a romantic relationship remains important to you, it is going to require your attention and effort.

•Practice Give and Take: 

If you expect to get what you want 100% of a time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on compromise, and it takes work on each person’s part to make sure that there is a reasonable exchange.

Recognize what’s important to your partner

Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it’s also important for your partner to recognize your wants, and for you to state them clearly. Constantly compromising your needs for others’ will build resentment and anger.

Don’t make “winning” your goal

If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. It’s all right to have strong convictions about something, but your partner deserves to be heard as well. You are more likely to get your needs met if you respect what your partner needs, and compromise when you can.

Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but to keep a relationship strong, both people need to feel they’ve been heard. The goal is not to win but to resolve the conflict with respect and love.

Make sure you are fighting fair.

Don’t attack someone directly; use “I” statements to communicate how you feel.

Don’t drag old arguments into the mix.

Keep the focus on the issue at hand, and respect the other person.

•Seeking Relationship Advice:

Sometimes problems in a relationship may seem too complex or overwhelming for a couple to handle on their own. In that case, it’s important to reach out together for help. There are a number of options available, including:

Couples counseling. It’s a big investment, and time, energy, focus and commitment are needed from both people to make a difference, but you might consider couples or marriage counseling to resolve your differences. Both parties need to be willing and able to honestly communicate what he or she needs, face the issues that arise in counseling, and then make the necessary changes. It’s important also that both people feel comfortable with the counselor.

Spiritual advice. Some couples benefit from spiritual advice from a religious figure, such as a pastor or rabbi. This tends to work best if both persons have similar convictions of faith and have a good relationship with the spiritual advisor.

Emotional Intelligence building. Try using Helpguide’s Bring Your Life into Balance mindfulness toolkit, a free utility for building emotional health and emotional intelligence. This in-depth course provides articles, videos, and audio meditations designed to help you put the skills of emotional intelligence and communication into practice.

Individual therapy. Sometimes one person may need specialized help. For example, someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one may need counseling to help him or her process the grief. If your loved one needs help, don’t feel like you are a failure for not providing him or her everything he or she needs. No one can fulfill everyone’s needs, and getting the right help can make a tremendous difference in your relationship.

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Emotional Self–Help Toolkit:

To develop and maintain healthy, growing relationships you need to be able to quickly manage stress and recognize and appropriately respond to your emotions.

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I hope this series have blessed you..

#FortuneChinda

|Love, Sex & Relationship| Maintaining a Successful Relationship - Guest: Dr. Phil

Relationships/Sex:

Five and a half years into their marriage, Stacy and Chris, a Dr. Phil Family, ask for help rebuilding their union. Dr. Phil offers this advice.
Have a solid friendship.
"Ask yourself what kind of friend you are being to your mate," Dr. Phil says. He asks Chris and Stacy what they enjoy doing with their friends, whether it be talking about silly things or sharing a good joke together. He then advises them to apply that same openness to their own relationship. "If you want a good friend, be a good friend," he suggests.

Meet each others' needs.
"The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of two people," Dr. Phil explains. He tells Chris that he needs to discover what Stacy's needs are. "Maybe she needs a soft place to fall that day or she needs a shoulder to cry on," he says. He tells Stacy that she doesn't always need to agree with her husband, but she should figure out his needs, whether it's saying that she's proud of him, or that he looks nice that day.

Set specific goals.
"Wake up each morning and say, 'What can I do today to advance the ball?'" Dr. Phil advises. Even small things will accumulate over time and make a difference. Find a quiet moment each day and come up with a specific goal to improve your relationship, whether it's calling your spouse during the day just to say hi, or telling your mate that you love him or her more often. Make a conscious effort.

Get back to basics.
"The idea is to have some concept of what a marriage and a partnership is supposed to be and start doing those things," Dr. Phil urges. Write down your definitions of a successful relationship and live up to those definitions. Focus on the fundamental things that are going to make a difference in the long run.

Take responsibility.
You can't control the way your spouse acts in your relationship, but you can control how you react in negative situations. "You have to take 100 percent responsibility for what you're doing in a relationship," Dr. Phil says. "Decide what you believe and hold to be true, and conduct yourself 100 percent consistent with that."

Turn the negatives into a to-do list.
After getting failing grades on Dr. Phil's Relationship Health Profile Test, Stacy and Chris are instructed to turn their negative answers into positive actions. For example, if you don't have fun with your partner, you need to make a list of enjoyable activities you can do together. Ask yourself, what would make your answer on the quiz change?

|Fashionista| Actor Osita Iheme, Pawpaw Dazzles In New 2013 Photo-shoot

Actor Osita Iheme, Pawpaw Dazzles In New 2013 Photo-shoot

The most eligible bachelor in Nollywood actor Osita Iheme alias Pawpaw is chopping life.

The comic actor just released some cute photosof himself in big men skin.

I remember few months ago, this bobo announced to the whole world that he is lonely after his best friend actor Chinedu Ikedieze got married.

Hope he has found love.

Single ladies make you show face before pawpaw is taken.

|People & Lifestyle| - Pastor Anselm Madubuko & Emmy Kosgei Wedding Holds In Kenya Today “My Son Told Me To Marry Her”

It seems Apostle Anselm Madubuko is aware of the controversy surrounding his new marriage one year after the death of his wife.

In this recent pre-wedding interview, the man of God said his 25-year-old son recommended Emmy Kosgei, a Kenyan gospel singer to him. The couple will be getting married officially today.

Photos from their traditional wedding ceremony

Hear what he said in the interview;

Even before I proposed to her, I called my kids separately and it was my son that even pointed my direction towards her. He told me more about her, saying: ‘Emmy has a pure spirit and I think she is someone you should marry.’

My son is 25 years old. After that, I called my two daughters and they both love her, saying that they can’t imagine she would be their step mum. They approved and told me to go ahead to propose to her.  I did not stop there. I called my elder sister, who is like a mother to me. She commended her too and said she love her music. There was nobody that spoke negatively about her, everybody approved, my family, church members and friends. Everybody was excited and happy about the choice and that is how I know that it is the Will of God.

The couple did their traditional wedding yesterday in Kenya. Today is their big wedding.

Gospel artist Frank Edwards and Midnight crew will be performing at the wedding.

Thanksgiving service will follow at the Revival assembly in Lagos Nigeria on the 15th of September, 2013.

Congrats to the couple.

|Entertainment| – Jibola Dabo Attempted Suicide; How The Nollywood Actor Almost Killed Himself - 31st August 2013.

#What depression can cause..

Veteran Nollywood actor Jibola Dabo in this recent interview with Christian Agadibe revealed his past battle with depression that almost ended his life.

The grey-bearded actor who has over 30 years of acting experience revealed how he almost killed himself in his youth days.

Interview excerpt below;

Was there a time you were at the crossroads and contemplated suicide?

Yeah…I wanted to run in front of a car at a point. I was homeless; I had nowhere to sleep. There was no food and I couldn’t steal so I just got tired of everything so I closed my eyes and tried to jump in front of a car and the guy who was at the wheels spat on me and said, ‘oloshi!’

What were you doing during that particular time?

I was looking for a job. I dropped out of secondary school because things were not happening so I said ‘let this thing just go!’At the time I was stuck. I left my village after I finished secondary school and came to earn a living but things just weren’t working out. That was when I took the decision to end it all. Eventually, things picked up a bit for my mum and I went back home and finished secondary school and then I started the second phase of my suffering. But at that time, I had a focus; I knew that I was going to be okay.

Did you help your mum in hawking or anything?

Oh yeah I did a lot of it. I know you probably read this from the paper or the net. I hawked agidi and kerosene.

You talked about your late mother, what do you miss about her?

My mum and I were very close. We talked a lot. Among all her kids I was the closest to her; I was the one who always came and sat down with her and we talked. I miss that.

What was the best advice she gave to you?

She told me I was going to have a lot of women in my life like my father but she advised me never in my life should I come close to another man’s wife; I will not forget that advice.

Jibola Dabo is a polygamist and a popular Nollywood actor. He turned 69 last month.

|Entertainment| I didn't have sex with Angelo in the BBA House: Says Beverly Osu

We all saw what we saw but Beverly Osu says we saw wrong, that she never had sex with Angelo in the Big Brother Africa house. She tells  Punch
"Angelo and I never had sex.I didn’t have sex in the house. I never had sex in the house.

But we saw the two of you in the bath tub, making love
We didn’t have sex. It was not an option for us. I don’t know where the people outside got the story from. I was shocked when I came out of the house and learnt that we had sex. I cannot take my bath with a swimming suit. We all take our bath naked. I shouldn’t be singled out because I went for a reality show. I am not different

What of all the other intimate things you did with Angelo? Didn’t you mind that the whole world was watching?
Whatever I was doing with Angelo, I didn’t even think I was on TV. It was just the two of us. We didn’t plan anything, we were just happy. No matter how people will look at it, I don’t regret anything I did with Angelo. I didn’t bring out the video and said everybody should look at me. Big Brother brought out the video.

How come it was Angelo you fell in love with in the house?
I had so many options to choose from in the house but I wasn’t attracted to any of them. But for some reasons I still do not understand, I fell in love with Angelo. I got attracted to him from the first day I saw him. For now, I will see where the relationship will take us.

So, you don’t mind the difference in nationalities?
There is no race when it comes to love. I can always go there and he can come here.


Don’t you think you embarrassed Nigeria in the house?
I was in the house to represent Nigeria. Of all the people that went for the audition, I was chosen. If anybody feels he can do better, he should go and get BBA form next year and apply and get in the house. I know I represented Nigeria very well.
You said so many things in the house. Were they all true or were you looking for sympathy?
I am a shy person. I shy away from a lot of things. But I was ‘open’ in the house. I say what is on my mind. For me to reveal myself to the world, I was just talking to my housemates. I don’t regret anything I said about myself or my family. People have to know the real me.

You mentioned something about a boyfriend that abused you. Were you referring to 2shots?
No. I wasn’t referring to him. For me, 2shots is history. Thank you for reminding me about him.


Is your mother happy with you?
Even if the whole world rejects me, my mother cannot reject me. I love her so much. I am her only daughter and last born. She has always been there for me. I wouldn’t want to disappoint my mum intentionally.

Were there things you did in the house you regret?
Nothing. I don’t have any regrets. I was in a beautiful house. I loved Melvin. He was the best in the house. Meeting everybody in the house was a blessing. I don’t regret anything.

What would you have done with the prize money if you had won?
I would have finished school. I would have started my make-up line. Trust me; I would have done a lot of things. Everybody has a degree. I must get a degree. With my degree, I can go further and do anything I want to do.

|Entertainment| Kim Kardashian and her beau Kanye West are looking to marry before the new year, as reports claim the rapper is trying his best to make her "happier".

A wedding seems like the natural step for the power-couple who welcomed their baby daughter, North West, in June.

It's been a long-time coming following reports of tensions in their relationship over how their daughter is raised, but they are keen to tie the knot after putting their relationship back on track, insiders claim.

"They haven't decided on a venue, but they want to marry by the end of the year, they both admitted they'd become so entrenched in winning the fight they'd lost sight of what was important," an insider has alleged to Closer magazine



Bride and Groom? Kim Kardashian and Kanye West may finally tie the knot

Kanye and Kim's mother Kris Jenner had reportedly clashed over whether North West would appear on her daytime talk show to increase flagging ratings, but the matriach settled for an exclusive photo instead.

It's believed Kim and Kanye's new lease of love is down to his mature new approach to his war of opinion with her mother and she is allegedly relieved they are finally getting along.

The source revealed: "Although he and Kris have clashed in the past, Kanye has promised to make a real effort with her because he knows that will make Kim happier."

"He's being really affectionate, paying more attention to her and planning lots of things for them to do together. She told him she'd appear occasionally and he's happy with that. She's so relieved they seem to be back on track."

A possible wedding, could be a happy ending for Kim who was granted a divorce from her ex-husband Kris Humphries in June after a two year legal battle. The couple had been married for 72 days.

|Fashionista| Victoria Beckham, wants to create fashion 'empire'

Victoria Beckham, the one-time pop star who is now one of the most courted designers at the upcoming New York Fashion Week, says she has even bigger plans for her eponymous brand.

"I want to get bigger and bigger," the former Spice Girl told the New York Times ahead of the unveiling of her spring-summer 2014 collection during fashion week, which begins on September 5.

"I absolutely want an empire."

Beckham, who was once only famous for her stint as Posh Spice and as the wife of footballer David Beckham, has come into her own since her first runway show in New York in 2008 took the fashion world by surprise.

Beckham told the magazine that she designs clothes she would want to wear herself, from chic, ultra-flattering dresses to her current fall line of masculine-influenced coats and body-skimming skirts and trousers.

She has also branched out into sunglasses, handbags and denim, and her main Victoria Beckham label is expanding rapidly in Asia.

Beckham has also created a new, more-affordable diffusion line, Victoria, which is more casual and colorful to appeal to a younger market.

"I want to reach as many women throughout the world as I can," she said.

"There are more categories that I want to enter into. I have five categories at the moment. But at some point I would love to do shoes, I would love to do fragrance, I would love to do makeup, I would like to do underwear. There are so many things I want to do."

The 39-year-old mother of four, who recently moved back to London from Los Angeles, said that she misses the climate, openness and work ethic in the city.

"I am very career minded, and I think my personality is more suited to America," she said. "I am a working mum."

|Love & Relationship| Self Evaluation & Preparation for Relationship Success

Self evaluation can be a difficult thing to do, but the rewards can be great. Once a self evaluation is completed and the findings are addressed the likelihood of you attracting a higher quality relationship than you have had in the past greatly improves.

Preparation for Suc

cess

Being prepared to be in a relationship is vital to its success. If you’re not prepared, you will mess it up or engage in an unhealthy relationship. Or worse, you will not recognize the one who’s right when they enter your life. An honest self evaluation will reveal any deficiencies.

Preparation should begin with a self evaluation. Have you developed yourself into the kind of person that you know in your heart you can be? Is your life on track? Is it balanced? A person beginning the journey for their ideal life-partner cannot be in a state of neediness or decline. They must be stable and secure. Otherwise, they will find themselves in a relationship that reflects the unfit state of their life.

This self evaluation involves looking at the four (4) major areas that tend to have the greatest influence on relationships: emotional, physical, social, and financial.

Emotional

Have you achieved emotional maturity, or are you still carrying unresolved baggage from a past hurtful relationship or a painful childhood? If so, get it resolved first! Talk it out with a friend, read some self-help books, or see a counselor or clergy.

Have you mastered your mind by taking control of the content of your thoughts? Have you learned about the remarkable power of your thoughts and how they determine your mood, your physiology, and your destiny? If not, get some books, tapes, or attend a seminar on the subject. Then use the information to develop your mental muscle and get your thoughts working for you instead of against you. Becoming skilled in this area is essential, because it can affect almost every area of your life, including your ability to find a partner who’s right for you.

Have you established a list of personal values and short and long-term goals? If not, do it now! Write down your values and goals. Give your life a direction. Design a plan for the life that you desire and for the person you want to become along the way!

Physical

Are you satisfied with your body, exercise program, and eating habits? This doesn’t mean that you have to be at your ideal weight, exercise regimen, or nutritional program to before you begin your search. But it does mean that you must have a healthy acceptance and appreciation for your body.

If not, take action now to lose the weight, get into an exercise routine, and set up a nutrition program. Just making the commitment and honestly getting started may be all that it takes for you to achieve self-acceptance.

Don’t fool yourself though, because the emotional high of taking the first big step of joining a weight loss program, buying a membership at a gym, or signing up for a course on nutrition will only be temporary. You must follow through with the work and stay with it. According to experts, it takes about six (6) weeks to establish a new habit. This amount of time would be an honest start to the endurance that leads to the results you want.

Social

Social balance in a relationship is important. Exclusive reliance on a partner for all your social nourishment and support can eventually put too much strain on a relationship. It can also greatly limit its ability to be fulfilling.

Certain aspects of personal fulfillment can only be gained from social activities that occur outside a relationship. Participation in social activities that satisfy individual needs, such as belonging to a particular special interest group, can provide the social enrichment that each partner requires. Then, when social requirements are being satisfied, the relationship as a couple benefits greatly. If they aren’t, it suffers.

Friendships with people of your own sex are also important to the success of a relationship. There are some issues that can only be understood by those of your own sex. Cutting yourselves off from the rest of the world and expecting your partner to understand all the challenges that come with being a man or a woman is not reasonable. Relying on them exclusively for guidance on these issues will not meet all of your needs. And when they cannot fulfill them the result is frustration, aggravation, and conflict.

The relationship that a partner has with their (same sex) friends does not replace the special intimacy that you share as a couple. It only enhances it, and it can do so to a great extent! Men strengthen themselves as men by being with other men. Women strengthen themselves as women by being with other women. Then when two (2) spiritually replenished partners meet there are sexual fireworks!

Financial

No other single issue seems to break up more relationships than financial problems. To enter a relationship without your finances being in order is unfair to your partner and to yourself. Just as in all the other areas we discussed above, it’s essential that you’re healthy in this area as well so that your relationship is built on a firm foundation, not sand, and surely not quicksand.

So, are your finances in order? Do you have your credit cards and other credit generating areas under control? How about your savings and retirement planning? Are you taking full advantage of retirement savings (401K) programs at work? Have you established a personal savings program? If not, get it handled this week! After all, don’t you want to be a contributor to you and your partner’s future and that of your children, if you decide to have them? Of course, the status of your career plays the leading role in your financial health.

Are you stable in your career? This doesn’t mean that you have to be at your dream job, but you must be either comfortable with your present position or working towards your goal in some way. For example, maybe you’re taking classes at a local college or trade school or you’re involved in a campaign for a new job or business of your own.

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Being an imperfect human, it is not realistic to expect that all the pieces of your life will be in exact order before you begin pursuing a relationship. However, you do need to have emotional maturity, physical fitness, social balance, and financial stability to be successful in the way that you picture a relationship to be in your dreams!

You can give yourself a huge boast in self-confidence and motivation by designing an improvement plan, making the commitment, and getting started toward making the changes that you know you need to make. Establish some goals and set up a schedule to do a self evaluation every three (3) to six (6) months. This will give you a target and a timetable. If there is a problem area in your life that’s not addressed in this self evaluation create the category yourself.

Make a commitment to take the necessary actions to solve any problems that your self evaluation reveals. Let the promise of discovering the greatest love of your life be your inspiration and the possibility of never finding it your resolve.



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#FortuneChinda

You sure do need a positive result? You would really love to see that relationship work-out? This is for you: |10 Dating Rules for Success|

- 10 Dating Rules for Success -
These dating rules for success do not include any instructions that ask you to represent yourself in a way that is not truly you. There are areas where self improvement is recommended, however. The goal of these dating rules is to inspire you to be your best so that you can attract the best partner for you!

These rules are based on extensive research on this topic. In most cases, the short description of each rule is enough for successful implementation of the advice.

1. Get Yourself Motivated
Get yourself motivated to find a compatible dating partner who you truly enjoy, a person with whom you can build a productive and fulfilling relationship. Finding a good match will take some time, effort, and perseverance. This will require a strong source of motivation.

Here’s how: First, visualize yourself in a magnificent relationship. Picture every glorious detail. Then visualize yourself in a horrible relationship and picture every nasty detail. Create these visualizations by recalling your own relationship experiences and/or those of other couples you’ve observed.

Motivation is created when we imagine the pleasure we will feel by having something we desire– like a great relationship. Motivation is intensified when we imagine the pain we will feel if we were to end up with something we hate instead– like a bad relationship. Use these opposing mental strategies to create a relentless motivation to find the person who’s right for you!

2 . Do a Personal Evaluation
What is the condition of your life? Have you become the person that you know that you can be? Where do you stand emotionally, physically, socially, and financially? Your future dating experiences will reflect the strengths and weaknesses that exist in each of these areas. Get your life in order before you start inviting others to make investments in you!

Do this by conducting a personal evaluation of all the major areas of your life. Determine what areas need improvement, identify the solutions, set goals, and then get to work. Once you are satisfied with the changes you’ve made and have gotten into the habit of working toward your remaining long-term goals you’ll be ready to start dating.

3. Get Your Teeth Fixed and Cleaned
The goal of this dating rule is fresh breath. Nothing is more of a turn off than bad breath. Bad breath, which is often caused by a dental problem, is usually not noticeable by the person who has it. Cup your hand over your mouth, blow into it, and then smell it. If there’s the slightest hint of odor you may have a problem.

If you haven’t had your teeth checked and cleaned in the last six months, get it done! If you have a cosmetic problem that affects your confidence, get it fixed if you have the money. If you don’t have the money now, just come to terms with it by adding it to your list of long-term goals. At the very least get your teeth and gums healthy so that your breath will be fresh and ready for romance!

4. Identify Your Target
Create a detailed description of the person you want. With a clear vision of the person you want, you will attract and be able recognize them when they enter your life. Without it, most of your efforts will be a waste of time.

Here’s how: Make two (2) lists of all the attributes, characteristics, and qualities that you MUST HAVE and CANNOT HAVE in a partner. Refine the lists by clarifying the items of greater importance and eliminating the items of lesser importance. Then transfer the lists to a fresh piece of paper and place it in a place where you’ll be encouraged to review it often.

Once you have the image of your ideal partner firmly anchored in your mind, you will attract and be drawn towards those individuals who meet your unique set of needs and repelled away from those who do not.

5. Determine the Best Places to Find Them
Determine the best places for you to find your ideal partner. What are your greatest passions? Are there organizations or events that you can attend where others who share your passion are likely gather? Finding someone to share what you love doing most is an ideal foundation for building a great relationship. Make a list of all the possibilities. Then go check them out. Join the ones that feel right and get involved without focusing on finding someone to date. That part will happen naturally.

You can come up with many dating sources within your present world as well. Do some brainstorming to identify all the possible places and activities where you have seen or might find a potential partner.

Online dating is an excellent resource for finding an ideal partner. The key is to find a reputable service with extensive matching criteria. You will find that the identifying process described in rule #4 will help you to recognize an outstanding service and an outstanding match.

6. Learn about Dating Techniques and Rituals
Learning about dating techniques and rituals will not only improve your dating success but also your amount of enjoyment. I am not talking about just learning how to open doors and order wine. I am talking about learning the techniques that can enhance compatibility judgment, relationship development, and romance. The beginner to the dating veteran can benefit from a review of this information.

This topic is too broad to summarize into a couple of paragraphs that would do you much good. The important point here is that learning this information can greatly improve your dating experiences. Find a good book about dating that covers the areas mentioned above

7. Get Your Wardrobe Ready
This issue is usually more of a challenge for men than women, but there are a number of women that I’ve encountered that could benefit from this advice as well. Looking your best is the icing on the cake. Like you, the true quality of a cake is what’s on the inside. But with an uninviting outward appearance there’s less of a chance someone will be inspired to find out what’s inside.

Do you have some clothes that are appropriate for dating? You can’t go out to a nightclub in a chef’s uniform, hospital scrubs, or a business suit. Either fish out a couple of outfits from your closet, wash, and iron them or invest in a few new ones. Try to dress fashionably and up-to-date. This may require that you stretch yourself a bit. Make your final choice on what you wear, however, based on what makes you feel the most confident. If you have accessories or a look that reflects your own unique style, go for it!

If you want some ideas on what clothes to buy, go to your local bookstore or library and look through some magazines. The goal here is not to spend a lot of money to impress the person you’re dating. The goal is to put together some outfits that make you look and feel your best.

8. Learn How to Handle Rejection
Rejection is a part of the dating experience that everyone hates. The fear of being rejected blocks us from reaching out to potential partners. If we change our perceptions about it, we can eliminate our fears.

We’ve been programmed to feel bad when we are rejected when 99% of the time it has nothing whatsoever to do with us. Mathematically, the chances of you coming into contact with someone, where favorable circumstances and mutual attraction exists, is probably at least 100 to 1 (one) or greater. In most situations, you do not have pre-existing knowledge of the person or their current relationship status, mood, likes, dislikes, etc.

Once you can accept the fact that it’s just a numbers game you can let go of the fear. Then you can move forward with more confidence knowing that the more you try, and the more rejections you accumulate, the closer you will be to reaching your target!

9. Enjoy the Journey
Don’t get so catch up in trying to find the perfect partner that you don’t enjoy the journey. Have fun! Learn! Grow!

When you find yourself out on a date with someone who isn’t right for you, just shift your attention to what you can learn from them and enjoy the conversation. If it’s really an uncomfortable situation, end the date as quickly as possible and go enjoy the rest of your day. Don’t waste any time doing a postmortem, just say to yourself, “Next!”

When you’re alone use the time to learn about yourself and how to enjoy your single life whether you’re dating someone or not. This means having the ability to go out to dinner alone on a Saturday night and truly enjoy it. Test yourself. Try it!

When a person is at peace being alone then their decision to be in relationship is a matter of free choice and not an emotional necessity. When there is freedom to decide when and if a person wants to be in a relationship, a better choice in a partner can be made.

10. Ensure Lifelong Intimacy
Ensure lifelong intimacy by being tested and protected. No matter how truthful, safe, and healthy your partner/friend seems, make certain that an adequate birth control method is being used, and that you both get tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STD) BEFORE your first sexual encounter. If you don’t have medical insurance to cover these expenses, most local health departments offer birth control counseling and STD testing for free or at a nominal fee. This would be appropriate for couples of any age. You may feel uncomfortable with the thought of discussing these subjects with your partner/friend, but it’s your life and these issues must be settled. One bad choice in this area can instantly ruin your life forever! For this reason, number 10 is the most important dating rule of all.

•Dating Rules Epilogue•
Most of us approach dating in a lackadaisical manner as if no special knowledge or skills are needed to be successful. The truth is dating is like everything else in life. You get what you put into it. These dating rules are only a blueprint for success. The rest is up to you!

If you’re looking to find a life-partner, then this endeavor is one of the most important of your life! If you’re new to dating or not looking for a serious relationship, then dating can either enhance or complicate your life.

You can learn through trial and error, but the price is usually a lot of pain when it comes to dating and relationships. Or you can master the necessary skills and reap the benefits of superior dating experiences and relationships. These dating rules provide a solid starting point.


I hope you enjoyed this piece?
#FortuneChinda

|the Gist| Young Shall Grow Motor boss attacked in Festac, driver & escort killed

The CEO of The Young Shall Grow Motors, Chief Vincent Obianodo, was attacked by suspected assassins on Tuesday night August 27th on 22 Road in Festac Town, Lagos, killing his driver and police escort. He narrowly escaped death.

The multimillionaire businessman was returning home from work on Tuesday night when an SUV double-crossed his vehicle in a lonely area, and some armed men opened fire on Chief Obianodo's car. His orderly who attempted to fire back was killed, his driver who was trying to escape was also killed while Chief Obianodo was shot in the arm.

The shooting attracted the attention of some policemen on patrol in the area who rushed down to the scene and engaged the gunmen in a shoot out, killing two of them.

Chief Obianodo was rushed to the hospital where he is responding to treatment. The Lagos State Police Command spokesperson, Ngozi Braide, who confirmed the incident said it is under investigation.

|the Gist| - Crisis In Imo Over Abortion Law

|Issues on this Abortion-Law thing|

Angry reactions have started trailing the legalisation of abortion by Imo State Government, as many people were seen Wednesday, discussing what they described as an obnoxious law.

Some clerics and social critics that spoke to Vanguard on the issue, described the abortion law as "inhuman, immoral and against the will of God."

A social critic, Mazi Damian Nze, who reacted angrily to the abortion law, said: "Legalising abortion in Imo State is a moral absurdity and a sure proof that our lawmakers have amply shown that they do not have any serious business in the legislature."

He reasoned that a careful watcher could readily observe that Imo might turn out to be the only state that had given legal stamp to the procurement of abortion by any woman at will.

In her own reaction, Lady Tina Onyegecha said the legalisation of abortion in the state was inhuman, immoral and a sharp departure from the will of God.

She said: "Life is sacred. It is inalienable. It should not be toyed with. If the mothers of todays protagonists of the abortion law were aborted by their mothers, they would not have been alive to pass this Bill into law."

Speaking also, a former commissioner for information, Dr. Kelechukwu Okpalaeke, said that Imo State was basically a Christian dominated state, adding that legalising abortion was against everything the people believed in.

"Imo is basically a Christian dominated state. Giving legal authority to abortion in the state runs counter to everything the people believe in.

"For such a thing to be legalised in Imo State is most embarrassing. Concerned citizens are already expressing palpable fear that this am turn ou to be a prelude to legalizing same sex marriage in the state", Dr. Okpalaeke said.

He said there was no consultation whatsoever before the law makers passed the Bill, which was later signed by Governor Rochas Okorocha.

Similarly, the Chairman, Catholic Medical Practitioners Association, Dr. phillip Njemanze, also reacted angrily to the Law, arguing that "the law is anti-God, dehumanizing and totally unacceptable to the Association.

"The Law is devastating. With its signing into law by Governor Okorocha, abortion has been legalised in the state and anybody, just anybody can now ask for abortion as of right in the state."

While recalling that the National Assembly had earlier rejected the Bill, especially as it is against humanity, Njemanze equally reasoned that the law would encourage human egg trafficking.


I hope you enjoyed this..  
#FortuneChinda.

|Love & Sex/Relationships| - The Seven Deadly Relationship Sins

1. WRATH
Couples will always encounter conflict. But there’s a big difference between talking things out and having a tirade so toxic your mate needs a hazmat suit to be in the same room with you. Withdrawing. Stonewalling. Exaggerating. Criticizing. Defending. Retaliating. Belittling. Nagging. Name-calling. Cursing. Threatening. If you routinely argue with any of these in your arsenal, you’re poisoning your partnership. Find tips on fair fighting from psychotherapist Mary Pender Greene in “EBONY Connect U” on page 92.

2. GREED
Self-interest is healthy. But selfishness to the extent that you can’t compromise or support your partner will build resentment and distance between you. The two of you should have three sets of goals: yours, mine and ours. Give your mate the freedom to pursue his or hers, or (s)he may feel trapped or held back by the relationship. If you are dismissing your lover’s ambition because it may cost you something or because you don’t think it’s realistic, (s)he will likely find support from another. Honor who your partner is now as well as the potential of what (s)he hopes to be. Support that vision fully, advises Karen Sherman, Ph.D., co-author of Marriage Magic!: Find It, Keep It, Make It Last! (AuthorHouse).

3. LUST
You guys are hot for one another? No problem there! Satisfying the lust for a third party—cheating—is what we’re talking about. Cheating kills trust and undermines the love and respect so critical to lasting happiness. But beware of related trust killers: broken promises; inconsistent actions; secrets and lies. At the root of these behaviors is the mentality that it’s acceptable to keep a partner in the dark if it means having one’s cake and eating it, too. If one of you is compartmentalizing key parts of your life that the other knows little about, you’re on a slippery slope.
Many think serial cheating without an emotional component is less harmful than a long-term love affair. Satisfying lust in this way is often written off as a “man thing” or an “addiction” typical of partners who can’t control their lust for others. Psychologist Joyce Morley, Ed.D., who works with straying husbands trying to salvage their marriages, points out that even so-called sex addicts have a choice. “It’s mind over matter. If he would mind what he’s supposed to—his children and his wife—then the outside women wouldn’t matter.”

But there is a way to maintain trust and enjoy lust: Find ways to bring the excitement of an affair into your monogamous relationship. Assume fantasy roles; rendezvous at a ritzy hotel or in a secluded-yet- semipublic place. Experiment with new techniques and toys. Make your boo your “deep, dark secret.”

4. PRIDE
We’re talking about false pride here: the fronting and fakery we employ to shield our lovers and our own egos from the fact that we are far from perfect. Could our flaws be accepted and loved? Pride protects us from the answer by ensuring the issue of our inadequacy never gets raised. Fear-based false pride is why you won’t admit you’re wrong or why you need to be right. It could be why you may dig your heels in during a fight instead of searching for common ground. Or why you may hide some aspect of your sexual, medical, financial, family or recovery history. Or why you may avoid sharing your fears. It may prevent you from speaking from the heart, even to show gratitude. It’s a reason you might fake orgasms rather than speaking up about what feels good. It’s why some of us wait for our new gal or guy to say “I love you” first. But to avoid authenticity is to avoid intimacy. Remind yourself that being vulnerable isn’t the same as being threatened. Share more of yourself, warts and all, as your relationship deepens. Our flaws make us unique. Our uniqueness makes us lovable. And to miss out on love, well, that would be a sin, too.


5. GLUTTONY
We all know how one partner’s packing on 150 pounds can put a damper on desire; but it’s not just food addiction that gets in the way of intimacy. From workaholism to Internet addiction, any activity you do to the point that it prevents you from being present and accountable in your relationship will push away your partner. Having dinner at work night after night; repeatedly cancelling plans because a needy friend has another crisis; compulsive shopping, online gaming or routinely watching sports or porn for many hours at a stretch means you’re likely neglecting something that’s important to your partnership. It might be sex, communication, money management, parenting concerns, shared leisure or household responsibilities. Make room for what’s important to your lover. Otherwise, you’ll end up with a roommate—or worse, with an ex.


6. SLOTH
How many times have we heard someone say, “She let herself go” or “He’s not the man I fell in love with” following a breakup? Complacency may be a by-product of comfort and closeness, but it’s corrosive to passion. “Letting yourself go” doesn’t just mean you’ve taken to hanging around the house sporting three days’ worth of razor stubble and dirty sweatpants. It may mean you’ve allowed yourself to neglect a goal, habit or interest you prioritized at the start of the relationship. If so, you’re no longer nurturing a special part of you—part of what your mate fell in love with. “Often, couples focus on each other and lose sight of who they are. These relationships are co-dependent,” says psychotherapist Christine Gutierrez. “What you are striving for is an interdependent relationship. When you don’t have sacred alone time with yourself or time with your friends, you tend to suffocate each other. You lose the romance and connection between you, and sometimes, the respect.” What passion, dream, ambition, challenge, friendship, routine or talent have you let go of? What time-sucking activity on your schedule can you eliminate to reclaim it and get your needs met? A final thought: If you or your partner has lost interest in nearly everything, this may signal depression. Learn more at the National Institute of Mental Health (nihm.nih.gov).


7. ENVY
Jealousy is the bitter feeling that others possess desired advantages—including the attention and adoration our mate—that we lack. It stems from insecurity. Frequently, we project those insecurities onto our partner’s behavior. So instead of admitting I’ve gained weight, we assume He thinks I’m fat, or He’s ogling that skinny girl. Instead of I’m disappointed that I don’t earn more, we think She’s out late helping that hotshot co-worker spend his bonus. And that one-down feeling can lead us to try to regain the advantage by behaving in ways that don’t show respect for our mate, ourselves or healthy boundaries. Spying on a partner, e.g., checking emails, browsing search engine history or cell phone logs; comments intended to cut a partner down to size; comparing or scorekeeping as well as unfounded accusations of mistreatment or cheating all cross that line. It doesn’t matter how well your partner treats you. You won’t feel good about your relationship until you feel good about yourself. Begin by keeping a journal to track your daily “wins” and positive attributes.



I hope you enjoyed this..  
#FortuneChinda.

|Love & Sex/Dating| - LOVE NO LIMIT: 4 Ways to Move Forward After Breakups

Love hangover: If there's a cure for this, you might want it

Heartbreak is a part of even the greatest love stories. When that heartbreak is beyond repair and breakups are necessary, we have to learn to move on and heal, even if we don’t want to or believe we can. Most of the questions I’m asked about love and relationships are actually more about loss than love. We wrap so much of ourselves and even our future plans into romance that when those romantic relationships end, we’re often left feeling gutted, wondering if we’ll survive.

The question is never whether we will hurt, because hurting is an inevitable part of the human condition, but more importantly how we can pick up the pieces and move forward with our lives.

We all have our own formulas for how to heal after the love is gone, but there are important universal laws we should follow when those goodbyes are upon us. I recently had the pleasure of discussing four collective steps towards moving forward with Dr. Michelle Callahan (more affectionately known as Dr. Michelle)—psychologist, author (Ms. Typed), TV host (Wedlock or Deadlock) and relationships expert extraordinaire who always provides brilliant, straightforward advice on how to navigate affairs of the heart.

Let’s take a peek at what Dr. Michelle discussed about surviving the letting go.

•Seek support:
“Breakups leave us feeling rejected and alone. We naturally withdraw into ourselves. It’s important to get out and speak with people we can trust to give us sound advice and offer us the comfort we sometimes can’t offer ourselves. When we talk to others, and literally pull ourselves out of the ruts that come with heartache and isolation, we heal quicker.

“If a breakup hits us harder than we expect and we’re unable to bounce back, it’s important to seek help from a professional, possibly a relationships expert or counselor who can assist in helping us reframe our thoughts about ourselves, the relationship and moving forward after it. This help is sometimes paramount, because in addition to dealing with the devastations of breakups, we often tend to replay the good and bad over and over. Seeking support outside ourselves is the key to getting back to our lives, or better: the live we want for our futures.”

•Be gentle with yourself:
“Sure, when we experience breakups, we often blame the other person. But many times when we’re alone, we think about what we could have done differently, or what we wish we’d never done. There’s no value in too many ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’ contemplations.

“Although we know both partners share responsibility in many breakups, when we are dealing with being on the receiving end of hurt, we often take the lion’s share of the blame. So not only are we dealing with the rejection from the person we loved, but those feelings are compounded by us also rejecting ourselves.

“We have to stop beating ourselves up when our lives don’t turn out the way we pictured them, and know that either we gave our best in the relationship that is ending, or we have learned lessons that will guide us on how to give our best the next time around. There is absolutely no one on earth who will treat us as tenderly as we are capable of treating ourselves. Period.”

•Don’t live in the past:
“What usually happens when we are going through tough times is we end up holding on to the ‘good old days.’ We look for the silver lining and the redeeming qualities of the people we fell in love with. If we are the ones being broken up with, we search for reasons to stay with those people, and we often view things as being better than they really are. We habitually don’t want to face the reality of our relationships and the truth of us by admitting that things probably hadn’t been good for a long time. But we have to. Being honest about the current state of our relationships is the only way we’ll heal and eventually open ourselves up to something new.”

•Learn to release your attachments:
“We naturally form strong emotional bonds with people we fall in love with, and as I stated earlier, we generally make a lot of plans for our lives that include those people. Frequently we simply can’t cope with our lives not turning into the fantasies we’ve created in our heads. It’s important to acknowledge that every relationship isn’t meant to last forever. If our relationships are no longer serving us, it’s okay to move forward and connect with people that support and represent the current visions we have for our lives. Change is necessary; we cannot change anything in our lives if we can’t release harmful attachments.”

Dr. Michelle was spot on in her observations on how to move forward after breakups. She’s currently working with autotrader.com to research how our relationships with cars often mimic our relationships with people.



Interesting, right?
I hope you enjoyed this.. -fortune

|Issues On ASUU Strike| University Students Urge Federal Government To Implement 2009 Agreement.

Students in Edo state have protested against the attitude of the federal government in the current strike action embarked upon by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU).

The students who carried placards marched round some streets in Benin City chanting solidarity songs to express their displeasure.

Spokesperson for the group, Festus Otono called on the federal government and Minister of Education to fully implement the demands of ASUU, while explaining that students may start indulging in various crimes due to idleness, as he appealed to the parties involved to adhere to the 2009 agreement.

The Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) embarked on strike two months ago to compel the Federal Government to implement the agreement reached with the union in 2009.

|A Special Message| from Mercy Johnson Okojie, on her birthday.

A message from Mercy Johnson's heart as she turns a year older today. Read below...
Today, I thought of many things I would love to have as birthday gifts and the many dreams I am still pursuing. In all of this I’m not losing sight of the fact that if not for God I might have ended up on the street like the many kids and young adults begging for food and some prostituting to make ends meet. If we know the circumstances that force some of these people on the street, we would spare a thought for them. I am where I am today purely by the grace of God and the grace of people who believed in me from the word go.
Recently, I was at the Boys Reform Home, Oregun, Lagos, the discussion I had with the principal Mr. Kotun and much later with the Special Adviser in charge of allremand homes in Lagos set me thinking about the boys and girls on the street. They have dreams too. Can they fulfill those dreams on the street? The answer will likely be no; because I won't be where I am today if I ended up on the street.

For this reason, Mercy Johnson Foundation will be doing a lot to get kids off the street. We are not asking people for money or donation, I will do all I can with the resources God has given me, and with the support of my husband to help get these kids off the street and set them on the path where they can begin to pursue their dreams. I want to plead with people, fans, friends and colleagues to spare a thought for the children on the street. We can begin by educating people around us, parents, the children and people in charge of children (Oga-house help relationship, teacher-student relationship, and others) on the need to treat every child like the future of Nigeria depends on it. And truth be told, our future will not be all that enjoyable if we let the scourge of ‘street-children’ fester. By then, the rich will begin to cry.  I learnt Lagos State Government has 11 homes where most children picked from the streets are kept, reformed and reunited with their families after counseling.

That is an initiative Mercy Johnson Foundation will be supporting and beyond that we will be going to different states to help spread the message-Get kids off the street, save the future. From tomorrow, I will begin to replay some of the lessons I learnt at the boys’ reform home and we all can contribute to getting the kids off the street.

I am grateful to everyone that has sent in a birthday message, tweet and gifts. Thank you and God bless you.
Mercy Johnson Okojie