-An interesting one- |Love, Sex & Relationship| I've discovered my partner is having an affair, what do I do?

GOOD READ:
•When you talk about it sit down together so that you can maintain eye contact with your partner.
•Agree to spend appropriate time talking and listening to your partner, even if you fear bad news is at hand.
•Try to ensure that there will be no interruptions while you have this conversation.
•Avoid cutting in on what your partner is saying. Let him/her finish before responding. You will undoubtedly be shocked and upset, but try not to start shouting or rush out of the room. You need to hear the full story in order to assess exactly what has happened.
•Ask your partner to tell you the truth, however painful. Recovery after an affair is always worse if initial lies are told, including lies of omission.
•Ask questions if you need to, but try to focus on facts initially, e.g. how long the affair has lasted and what your partner wants to happen now. The most urgent question for many people is “why?” but sometimes a partner cannot tell you this immediately and his/her perspective often changes over time. Avoid asking questions such as "Were they better in bed than me?" You may want answers to these kinds of questions later on, but it is better to establish the facts first and ask those questions later, when feelings are not running as high.
•Avoid immediately blaming your partner, the affair partner or yourself. It may seem tempting to hurl an insult at your partner about his/her fickleness and blame the third party as a seducer, but this often gets in the way of true understanding. You should also resist self-blame. You may wonder if your own short-comings have caused the affair, but while you were both responsible for your relationship, you can never be responsible for your partner’s behaviour choice, to have an affair. An affair can never be the “fault” of a faithful partner.
•Once you have established the facts, if your partner resolves to end the affair and re-commit to your relationship, be slow to judge. You will need to reflect on whether you are able to forgive the breach of trust and you will not yet have all the information with which to make that decision. Only after talking and establishing the reasons for the affair, will you be able to decide. You can however say that you are willing to work with your partner and try to understand why this has happened.
•There are many reasons for affairs and they happen in happy relationships as well as those where there has been discord.  Listen to what your partner is telling you and try not to make assumptions if what s/he is telling you doesn’t fit with what you have always believed about affairs. Society is changing and the context in which we live is shifting all the time.
The beliefs you may both have held for a long time might need to be challenged by this experience. Listen and reflect.

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Hope this article blessed your life?
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