|For the Married and 'Would-be married' ladies and gents|
Has your spouse neglected you? Rejected you? Hurt you?
Are you struggling to get over the pain of an affair?
If your marriage is in trouble, the chances are good that you need to put some hurt behind you.
It's one of the most common questions I get. "Mort, I want to make my marriage work. But how do I get over the past?"
Here's the key.
The first step is to realize what you're REALLY trying to accomplish. What does it REALLY mean to get over the past?
You can't change what happened. There's no time machine that can send you back to relive the past. What's done is done.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that your situation is hopeless. What I'm saying is that you first have to be clear about what you can and cannot change. You CAN get over your past (as I'll explain). But you canNOT change events that already occurred.
The good news though, is that you don't have to change the past in order to get over it. What you have to change is the MEANING of the past.
Think for a moment! Was there ever a time in your life when something horrible happened and you thought, "Why is this happening to me?" But then a few years later you looked back and you could answer that question. In retrospect, you understood why it happened. At first, it seemed like the world was caving in. Later, it all made sense.
In fact, very often, we eventually realize that bad times are part of a process that leads to something good!
It's the events that FOLLOW bad times that determine the ultimate meaning of those times. In other words, it's your future that determines your past; not the other way around. And since YOU are in charge of your future, then YOU determine the meaning of your past.
It's interesting to think about this in the context of an age-old question: Do we have free choice or is everything predetermined? The answer is YES. Everything is predetermined AND we have free choice.
It's like when you play a card game. You get dealt a hand. And you have no control over the cards you get
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#hope this Article blessed you?
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